Things I don't want to talk about.
So, I don’t really want to talk about Rep. Joe Wilson calling the
president a liar on national television in front of a joint session of
Congress. Even though I find it hilarious and hypocritical and
distressing and a bunch of other things. Because I realize that in the
end I don’t much care. I actually kind of wish some people had shouted
some things at George W while he was around. There was that one time
that that Iraqi threw shoes at him. Which was like, a crowning moment
of awesome, I don’t care which side you’re on. But really, I don’t
care. Calling a politician a liar isn’t even an insult, it’s just
like, the truth. So I suffer from Outrage Failure on this one. And I don’t really want to talk about the “OMG Obama is going to tell
our kids to stay in school!!!11!1!” controversy any more, even though
it turned out to be a tempest in a teapot (surprise! surprise!),
because I’m kind of sick of that too. I do think it’s kind of
hilarious how people are always accusing their political enemies of
trying to brainwash the opposition, or coming up with some clever
“indoctrination” technique or something. It’s like, the assumption is,
my opponent is wrong and fails at the issues, and my side is so
clearly and evidently right, but somehow they’re just really
extra-good at psychology and memetics and have super-secret subliminal
techniques and that’s why I fail. Like, seriously? If they can do all
that, why are you even trying? It’s kind of like how some subset of
Christians are always going on about how powerful and amazing and
subtle the Devil is, influencing every aspect of the world and
corrupting everyone all over the place. Like, if the Devil can do all
that, and God’s just left it up to you yahoos with your pamphlets,
aren’t you kind of worshipping the wrong guy?
because I don’t even know what the fuck happened or why everyone’s all
up in arms about it, and furthermore I literally could not care any
less. And I don’t particularly want to say anything about Patrick Swayze
because, well, I mean he was an actor, and he died. When I was a horny
teenager I was really disappointed at how non-dirty Dirty Dancing was,
and that’s about all I remember vis-a-vis my personal experience with
Patrick Swayze. It does seem like kind of a lot of celebrities are
dying lately, but maybe it’s not so many, relatively speaking. I don’t
guess I pay enough attention to really know for sure, statistically
speaking. It’s all kind of weird and ghoulish anyway, the way we care
about such things. But I don’t really feel the need to pontificate on
it. The only thing I really want to talk about is that I get to go to a
cocktail party with Randall Munroe, and that is AWESOME EPIC WIN.
