In which I blog five things of decreasing interest
ONE: This is a wedding cake. It is made of EPIC WIN: 
(this comes via @skweeds on teh Twitter who got it from this blog:
http://www.greatwhitesnark.com/2009/10/08/steampunk-wedding-cake-geeky-cake/) TWO: This week has been crap. Firstly in that my car requires epic
repairs, which is always a major downer. But on the bright side, I
actually have the money to fix it without too much financial hardship,
and it’s still less than what the car’s worth or what I’d pay for a
decent newer car. So that part is inconvenient but manageable. And I
have a car available to me to borrow for the period, so it hasn’t even
interrupted the actual operation of my life all that much.
done all sorts of unkindness, and also whom it is exhausing, awkward,
emotionally draining and painful to be around. All of which, totally
my fault, so I should lie in my own bed. But nevertheless, it has made
parts of the week fairly stressful. And the weekend is just all kinds
of up in the air. To which I’m just going to punt and do what makes me
happy. Because you only live once and damn it all if I’m going to
spend the next 13 years like I spent the last 13: living in such a way
that, on my death bed I’d be likely to say “damn I wish I’d lived
better”. THREE: So, about that. I mean, despite the fact that changing my
living circumstances has had a huge and major positive impact on my
life, I’m still fucking nutty as a fruitbat. I just am. The chemicals
in my brain, they ain’t right. So like, I occasionally run down this
rabbit hole of like anxiety and depression, and I just want to be all
contrite to those who have to read about it, or especially those who
have to endure it (all one of you! hi!). But it’s still like…
compared to abject depression it’s a victory. And just as a like, pointless egotistical soul-searching aside, it’s
been kind of great. Part of me still knows that a lot of the victories
I’ve had are probably at the expense of someone else… but like, I
live with less clutter and own less stuff. Which for a long period of
my life was anathema. Been a bit of a packrat. Now, I still do acquire
and consume, but less so. And I do more. Like, I bought a camera. And
I take pictures all the time (not this week, but generally). So it’s a
process. And so… I know I got to this place by just kind of leaving a lot of
stuff behind, and just leaving the clutter. But fuck - it wasn’t going
anywhere, anyway. In some ways I’ve learned to be selfish. In another
way, I’ve learned to not care, but in a good way. FOUR: Part of my wants to extend that. I mean at this point, other
than like, student loans, I’m basically free from obligations. But
there are still some lingering. And I don’t think I could ever pull a
Jack Kerouac and just go, I dunno. Maybe I could. There was a time
when I thought I could never do what I’ve already done. But I did. FIVE: Which, sorry for the obliqueness there. I’m still not quite
comfortable spilling out explicit details on my life. I mean I realize
that it’s probably trivial to read between the lines if you care. And
also I know that nobody does care, or if they do they already know.
I’m not actually all that private, but also this little blog or
whatever is, technically, completely public so. Y’know. Talk to me in
person if you care and don’t understand, or want to hear like,
emo-style venting. And so, because I’ve crossed fully into “pointless shit nobody cares
about” and also because of the Law of Fives, I’ll stop there. Except
to say, today’s Oscar Wilde’s birthday, and Oscar was awesome. That is
all.
